DATING ADVICE

11.11 — A Message for Single Women and Single Men on Singles’ Day

How both men and women can bridge the rift between them by stepping into their power and focusing on what they can do

Neha Sonney, Speaker
6 min readNov 11, 2023

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Photo by Daniel J. Schwarz on Unsplash

If there’s anything I’d like for you to take away from this read, it is this. Focus on what you can do. There’s a reason why modern dating has failed both men and women. Our modern ways of life in the city go against our biology. It’s time to consider going app-free, sex-free, porn-free and give up addictive behaviors that are keeping you stuck and single.

By choosing to focus on what you can do and by doing that, you become the bridge builder and close the rift between men and women.

Singles’ day was originally called bachelors’ day. It’s an unofficial Chinese holiday that has turned into a shopping season that celebrates people who are not in a relationship. Good for them. Not good for you. Let me explain.

Back when I was lonely, even when I was in a relationship, I used to be a shopaholic. Toxic friendships and undeserving and unfulfilling relationships made me feel lonelier than when I was single. I filled that hole with pretty things to make me happy momentarily. That happiness didn’t last.

Back then, I was the perfect target for clothing shops with SALE displayed on their windows. They had power over me while there was a hole in me. I had zero control over my impulses.

It’s only the happiness that comes from being in a healthy relationship that has filled that hole now. I worked on making myself that happy person who had much to offer in a relationship.

There are people who deserve to be single. And there are singles who would make great partners in a relationship. I was definitely someone that consciously transitioned from the former to the latter. Which one are you?

If you belong in the former category, unless you’ve healed yourself, the chances are high that you are prioritizing other things over being in a relationship. It’s good to be alone because it gives you the time to reflect on yourself. That’s if you’re conscious. If not, then you’re using things and people to keep you busy so…

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Neha Sonney, Speaker

Healed from Narcissistic Abuse | Author of 📗: WIRED FOR SELF-LOVE |🎙The Relationship Academy | Free 📚: NehaSonney.Gumroad.com | YT @nehasonneyofficial