5 Powerful Relationship Lessons To Learn From 500 Days Of Summer If You’re Dating

The greatest story that teaches you the five biggest mistakes to avoid during courtship. Is it a love story? You tell me.

Neha Sonney, Speaker
5 min readMar 15, 2022


Tony Hoffarth | Flickr

I’m a die-hard rom-com fan. Typical girl, I know! But director Mark Webb set the tone of (and my expectations from) the movie right at the beginning.

This is not a love story.

Nooooo! That is the sound of my heart breaking. Who doesn’t love a love story with a happy ending? And this is not even a love story? Why?

I witness myself as I respond to the movie. I couldn’t help it. I too was rooting for things to turn into Tom’s (the assumed protagonist) favor, and hoping high that Summer would finally fall in love with Tom. But that’s exactly why 500 Days of Summer, released in 2009, is a great movie to learn about the most common mistakes made early on in the “falling in love” stages — our sweet spot — and where Todd Raphael and I provide massive value to our clients. Here are five lessons from 500 days of Summer that you must incorporate if you are at the early stages of seeing someone.

Lesson #1 — Acknowledge obvious red flags early on

In the movie, Summer clearly tells Tom that she was not looking for anything serious. If you really, really like someone and the other person is looking for something casual, it’s a sign you should not ignore. Tom did, and ignoring this red flag cost him a lot of heartache.

Lesson #2 — Don’t idealize love.

Tony Hoffarth

Tom was so mesmerized by Summer the first time he saw her in the meeting room that he started idealizing her. When people start idealizing someone, they are looking at them through rose-colored glasses. They create this “Oh my god, she/he is so amazing” and “Oh my god, we like the same music” ideas in their mind that prevents them from seeing the person for who they truly are. He confuses…



Neha Sonney, Speaker

❤️ I believe self-love is the antidote to Narc Abuse | 🎙️ The Relationship Academy | 🖋️ | Free 📚: