Men Need This in a Relationship

Lata Kokal (formerly Neha Sonney)


They’re not getting enough of it. A message for women

Couple sitting under tree talking
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

No, it’s not sex. Thought I’d just get it out of the way.

I was in a Clubhouse room where men and women from all walks of life were talking about their perspective on marriage. Some people were single, some were married twice and divorced twice. Some others were single parents.

Many modern women say “I don’t need a man.” One of the topics in that Clubhouse room as also about what being brought up by a single mother does to boys as they grow up to be men.

Most women’s dating experiences haven’t been great. There’s also who are the men they have been choosing to go out. Do these men have the leadership required of them to be men whom women would want?

I felt that good leadership has gone missing.

Too many men jump to sex too soon. It makes the woman feel unsafe. There’s also the fact that people make themselves sexually vulnerable thinking that that will bring in emotional vulnerability. Which in most cases doesn’t happen.

Women also have sex on the first date. Either way, it doesn’t lead them to a relationship.

So it’s not like all men want is sex. Men want relationships as much as women do.

I believe both sexes want different things when they are coming together in a relationship with the opposite sex.

There was confusion around men wanting to feel needed as their reason to be in a relationship with a woman.

So I posed this question to the men in the Clubhouse room. And they all said they like to feel appreciated or more appreciated in their relationships with women.

Let’s pause here for a moment.

Needed and appreciated have very different meanings.

Needed means require (something) because it is essential or very important rather than just desirable.

To appreciate means to recognize how good someone or something is and to value him, her, or it; recognize the full worth of.

Why is it that men are not feeling appreciated or appreciated enough? I touched briefly on this topic…



Lata Kokal (formerly Neha Sonney)

Healed from Narcissistic Abuse | Author of 📗: WIRED FOR SELF-LOVE |🎙The Relationship Academy | Free 📚: NehaSonney.Gumroad.com | IG & YT @latakokalofficial